How to Be Human
by ajyrrwsa
Summary: Burnham's first encounter with pizza.


Michael walked directly to the replicator the second the doors to the galley slid open.

"Computer, basic nutritional meal," she said placing her hands behind her back. "With salsa," she added. She decided it wouldn't hurt her to change it up a bit.

"Computer, cancel," a voice said from behind her. She turned to see Lieutenant Tyler smiling down at her.

"Basic nutritional meal?" he said folding his arms across his chest. "That's incredibly boring."

Michael looked confused. "It has all of the nutrients I require to perform at optimal levels. I have it everyday."

"My point exactly," Tyler replied. "Computer, make a pre-cut, Chicago style, pepperoni pizza please."

" _Pizza_ does not provide the necessary nutrition and also has too many..."

Tyler put his hand up to stop her.

"Deep dish or thin crust," the computer responded.

Tyler glanced down at Michael, but before she could begin her protest again, he responded, "Thin crust. We don't have to go completely crazy."

In a second a steaming hot, medium, pepperoni pizza materialized.

Burnham had grown up on Vulcan, where one ate to maintain a healthy life for as long as possible. It was one of the main reasons Vulcans were stronger, more resilient, and lived so much longer than humans. Though it was difficult to control her human urges for treats when she was younger, she had not eaten anything more than what her bodied required for as long as she could remember. She had certainly _heard_ of pizza, but she had never had it. Nor would she have ever chosen to eat it herself.

"I don't understand," Michael said as Tyler led her to a table in the middle of the galley. "Why would you eat something that would have such a negative effect on you physically?"

Tyler set the pizza in the middle of the table and sat down. "It's not always about the effect food has on your body, Burnham" he said resisting the urge to examine hers again. "Sometimes it's what it does for your soul. You still have one, even if it's under used."

"There are other, healthier ways to strengthen the human soul. Daily exercise, for example. And also..."

"Didn't we decide that I knew best how to be human? Now sit down, Burnham."

Michael studied his face for a moment. He was serious. And she had been trying to connect with her own humanity, especially since Tyler joined Discovery.

"You don't have a shift tomorrow," Tyler said, "So even if your not performing optimally, you won't be at work. Just try it." He kicked the chair opposite him from under the table. It rammed into Michael's leg.

"Ah!" she cried grabbing the part of her thigh that took the impact.

"Sorry," Tyler said jumping out of his seat ready to help her if she needed. Only he forgot who he was talking to.

Almost as immediately as her face showed discomfort, any sign of pain was gone. "I'm fine," she said pulling her chair toward her. She sat down and faced her meal.

Pizza certainly smelled delicious, but Michael still wasn't convinced.

Tyler didn't hesitate to pull one of the square slices up to his mouth before slumping back into his seat. Michael watched as his face fell into pure ecstasy.

When he saw her watching him, he asked, "What?" Then he finished off his first slice.

"That was an intense reaction to something so trivial."

He laughed. "Pizza is not trivial."

Michael's face twisted as she began formulating her response. He didn't understand her. And she certainly didn't understand him, but as usual, before she could argue, he stopped her.

"Fine, pizza is trivial," he said pushing the food toward her. "But, if so, eating some shouldn't be a big deal." He was already starting on his third slice.

"Pizza is trivial," Michael replied, "Nutrition is not."

"Oh my God," Tyler said in exacerbation. He picked up a slice with his free hand and shoved into Michael's mouth before she could say anything else.

Michael was getting ready to explain her opinion of deities, so she could not react fast enough to stop the warm, savory, cheesy food from passing through her lips. She bit down before she could stop herself.

"Oh my God," she said feverishly chewing in anticipation for her next bite. "This is amazing."

"Feel that rush," Tyler said smiling, "Good for the soul."

"It's probably just my heart rate picking up from all of the sodium." Michael quickly grabbed another slice. Each bite was better than the last.

After her third slice, she slowed down. It was beginning to feel like rocks were sitting in her stomach. She took a bite of her fourth, and her body decided she had enough even though her mouth was ready for more. She stared at the partially-eaten slice in her hand.

"What's wrong?" Tyler asked.

"I can't eat anymore," she said, "But I want to. Why is that?"

He laughed. "Hand it over," he said taking the slice from her. He finished it and rubbed his stomach. "If you never tempt yourself, you never have to practice self control. Humans have lousy self control."

"Hm," she said surprised she actually learned something from eating pizza.

"Pizza!" Tilly yelled pulling up a chair next to Michael. She happily grabbed a slice. "Hey, guys," she said before eating.

"Hey, Tilly," Tyler said leaning forward onto his elbows. "Shift just end?"

"Yes, finally. The device the doctor made that Stammets uses to interface with the spore drive malfunctioned in the shower. So we spent the past two hours trying to make it compatible with his soap."

Tilly started giving the particulars of the end of her shift. Michael was happy to sit back and listen.

* * *

Michael's stomach had been churning since she and Tilly left the galley. At first she thought it was her bodies normal response to foreign food. The feeling was similar when she'd eaten her first grass bowl during a trip to Betazed she had taken with Sarek when she was a child. By the time they entered their quarters the churning was causing nausea. Michael held herself steady against her bed.

"Is something wrong with Sarek again?" Tilly asked alarm.

"No," Michael said. She slid the floor and leaned against the bed. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine," Tilly said. She kneeled in front of Michael and pulled up her eyelids.

"You look awful," she said, "And you're sweating."

"I don't sweat."

"Apparently, you do," Tilly said wiping her hand on her pants leg. "We're going to sickbay."

Tilly pulled Michael to her feet.

* * *

"What happened?" the doctor said as the doors to sickbay slid open. Both Tilly and Michael collapsed to the floor. Tilly, because she was exhausted from carrying Michael, and Michael because standing made her dizzy.

"It's Burnham," Tilly said pointing, "She was like this when we came back from dinner."

"Transport to bed 2," the doctor said.

"I should have just done that," Tilly said.

Michael appeared in one of the beds and the computer started to scan her. The doctor looked at his controls to find anything fatal.

"Heart rate is elevated and respiration is abnormal. She's having a reaction to something." The doctor looked at Michael who was mumbling something before shouting, "What's wrong with me?"

"Has she been on any away missions or exposed to anything in engineering?"

Tilly shook her head. "No," she said quickly, "No, away missions, and nothing out of the ordinary in engineering. She's not there much anymore since she transferred to the bridge. I don't know what could have happened in the bridge though. We would have heard of something. She would have told me. Maybe she, maybe something happened to her in one of time loops. But that doesn't make sense because once the loop ends, it..."

"Tilly!" Michael and the doctor shouted at the same time.

"Doctor," Michael said struggling to compose herself, "I haven't been exposed to anything. That I'm aware of. Has anyone been here with similar symptoms?"

The doctor was back at his controls. "No," he said, "But hold on." Michael's scan was complete and he was examining the results. He laughed.

"What have you eaten today, Burnham," he said. He injected her with something and the pain in her stomach almost completely subsided.

"My regular breakfast and lunch," she replied as her breath steadied. "Lieutenant Tyler insisted on pizza for dinner."

"That'll do it," said the doctor.

Tilly scoffed. "Pizza can't kill you."

"It can," the doctor replied as Michael sat up, "If you're extremely lactose intolerant."

"What?" Tilly said, "Are you?"

"No," Michael said immediately. Then a rare memory of her parents went through her mind. "I mean, I don't think so. Maybe," she said wiping the sweat from her forehead. "I don't know. There's no dairy on Vulcan."

"Well," the doctor said, "I neutralized the bacteria that was causing the pain, but you're going to be tired for a couple of days."

Michael looked at the doctor, "That was all?"

"Yep," he said, "You can go."

Michael slid out of the bed. "Thank you, doctor," she said following Tilly toward the door.

"You know," Tilly said when they were in the hall, "You fight Klingons. How ridiculous is it that cheese almost killed you? Not that your ridiculous, but..."

Tilly chattered on as they walked back to their quarters.

* * *

The next morning, Michael found herself lying in bed with her room empty. Tilly had started her shift and this was time Michael usually spent taking laps around her deck, but that morning she felt sluggish.

Her door buzzed, which shook her from her thoughts. For a moment she was back on Shenzhou by Captain Georgiou's side.

"Enter," she said forcing herself to stand.

Lieutenant Tyler crossed the threshold and the doors slid closed behind him.

"Burnham. All dressed up, I see," he said eyeing her pajamas.

"Do you require something from me, Lieutenant?" she replied with no humor in her voice. Not that she was capable of adding humor to her voice.

His eyes narrowed. "Lieutenant?" The corner of his mouth turned up revealing the dimples that always caught Michael's eye. "You must still be mad at me."

Her eyebrows burrowed. "Why would I be mad, sir?"

"Okay, enough," he said. He hated honorifics, especially from her. "Tilly told me what happened in sickbay."

Michael's nostrils flared.

"Oh, yeah," Tyler said noting her reaction. "She's telling everybody. Michael Burnham, the Mutineer, destroyed by her body's inability to process cheese. The crew is having a laugh."

Though she was annoyed, she couldn't help but smile. Tyler always knew how to make Michael loosen up.

"I was never mad at you," she explained. "I was mad at my own weakness. I knew eating pizza wasn't logical and I did it anyway."

"Hey, you tried something new and it didn't go well. It happens to everybody."

Michael shook her head and put her arms behind her back, "If situations are approached with logic, incidents like the one that happened last night don't happen."

"Approaching something with your emotions doesn't make you weak..."

"It makes me human," Burnham said. She had heard him say it so many times. "Why am I only human around you?" she said.

Tyler took a deep inhale. Whenever Michael asked him something like that she looked right into his eyes without flinching. This, in return, made him uncomfortable and he always found himself fiddling with his ears or fingers. It had happened enough times where he learned to fold arms across his chest to keep from fidgeting.

"Is it normal to feel nervous and unlike myself whenever you're around?"

"Yes," he said after a few seconds.

"What's that called?"

"A crush," he said, "You like me, Burnham. We've been through this."

She considered it for a moment. "I enjoy your company, but I also enjoy Tilly's..."

"It's not the same thing."

"Why not?"

"You don't have to analyze everything," Tyler said. "You can just let yourself feel things."

"It doesn't seem efficient to..."

"I came here," Tyler said quickly to change the subject, "To see if you were doing okay."

Michael nodded. "I'm much better, thanks," she said realizing she was doing it again. "Sorry, if I've made you uncomfortable. "

"It's fine. I'm used to it by now."

"Lieutenant Tyler to the bridge," Saru's voice called.

"You should go," Michael said relaxing her arms.

Tyler didn't leave immediately. He took Michael by the shoulders and forced himself to hold her gaze without wavering. "What you're feeling is normal and I don't know how to make it stop."

"Lieutenant Tyler to the bridge," Saru called again.

"Most of the time it just fades."

"And the rest of the time?" Michael said noticing how her heart rate picked up as it usually did whenever Tyler was that close.

Tyler smiled as Michael started fidgeting. "I don't know about that either."

"Lieutenant Tyler, if you are not on the bridge in 15 seconds, I'm ejecting you from an airlock," the captain said through the ship's computer.

Both Michael and Tyler laughed as they separated and recomposed themselves. "We're going to be on this ship for a while. Just go with the flow. That's what I'm doing, even though you make it difficult.

"Go with the flow," Michael said slowly. She had a hard time processing that sentence.

"Now you work on that," Tyler said opening the doors. "I want a report by dinner."


End file.
